BiPolar Edward
by ReallyLoudObserver
Summary: Just a little one-shot that I thought of and laughed at myself. Read and I am almost sure you will like it ;D
1. Chapter 1

Bipolar Edward Is FUNNNNN!  
This Idea is from Chapter 4 of Trading Spouses Vamp Style. by...hmm, let me check..EdwardLuvr22 (here is the link /s/4381305/4/TradingSpousesVampStyle read it.) and I laughed at the part that said Edward is bi-polar, so now I HAVE to make my own story! tee hee hee!

Disclaimer! Me: Is it still plaigerism if I make Edward and all the other Cullen's totaly out of character?  
Stephenie: Yes, Yes it is.  
Me: And what if I, persay made his name Edwin Tony Mazen Collen?  
Stephenie: Yes, Yes it is.  
Me: Oh, well, here you go, the story that has Edward Anthoney Mason Cullen. And...it belongs to STEPHENIE!  
Stephenie: Yes, Yes it is.  
Me: What!  
Stepheine: Yes, Yes it is.  
Me: What the heck! anyways on with the story.  
Stephenie: Yes, Yes it is.  
Me: Shut the EDWARD up STEPHENIE!  
Stephenie: YOU SHUT UP CRAZED FAN GIRL! Me: AHH YOU KNOW MY NAME!  
Stephenie: Yes, Yes it is.  
Me: Not again...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Edward is Bi-polar! and FUN!!

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

Edwards POV

As I ran, the wind blew through my hair, my leg mucles were streching, and I had the love of all my eternity on my back. My so called 'Life' was great. I honestly couldn't be happyier!

As we got closer to our house I could start to distinguish certian thoughts such as:

_I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world...Life in plasic, it's fantasic!..._ Emmett, that was clear.

_WHY WON'T THE BLADES CUT THROUGH MY SKIN!! I MUST FIND A WAY TO BE EMO_, wait, maybe Alice will help me! Jasper had OBVIOUSLY been watching that dog movie again, it always makes him Emo-esque for a few days.

_Shopping. Wait, what is this it's freaking me out! AHHHHH ITS A VISION! Wait! its a VISION of a SHOE SALE! I can take Bella with me!_ Alice is still not over the fact that Bella had a cold last week and couldn't go shopping.

_I wonder if Bella would like one cake or two, Hmm, lets stick with one. WAIT! lets make COOKIES! instead_ **(A/N all reviewers get one of Esme's cookies! (:.:) see, yummmy)** Esme was the only reasonable person in the house right now.

_Rosalie, Arn't you BEAUTIFUL! yes you are! yes you are_! ONCE AGAIN! Rose was speaking in third person in her head. arg, she just wouldnt get over herself!

I stepped up the steps as happy as can be when all of a sudden I saw Jasper skip out of his room. Skip, Jasper, WOW what happened.

As if answering MY thoughts he said "what, your so happy, I bet you would be twice as happy if you and Bella, umm, DO the deed. **(A/N because that isnt subital at ALLLL)**

That was it. I dropped my love and pounced. I tackeled Jasper and he had utter shock on his face. "WOW, one second you were like totaly happy-go-lucky-I-Love-the-wold, and now your SO angry that if you were human you would have had a heart attack." Jasper whispered, I was blocking his airway.

"SHOPPING!!, Oh wait I mean GET OFF MY HUSBAND!!" Alice shouted as she tackled me. I flew to the other wall.

"Well, JASPER made a wisecrack about Bella!" I whined.

"WHO CARES EDWARD! YOUR BI-POLAR ANYWAY!" Alice screeched at me.

"Wha... What!" I said, becoming immediently sad. "Bella, love of my existance, am I bi-polar." I whispered to my love with so much sadness.

"Edward, It, It kinds sounds and looks like you are." She admitted to me, Alice, and all the other CUllens

TWO WEEKS LATER

"So you see, Dr.Therapist. I am just a very emotionaly complex person. You can appriciate that can't you?" I said.

"Edward. Take three of these happpy pils every day and you will be on Good Edwards side. AND IF VOICES ASK YOU TO BURN DOWN HOUSES DONT LISTEN OKAY!" He shouted

Wait. he thought I was bi-polar. HE THOUGHT I WAS BI-POLAR.

I ran at vampire speed. Cracked his neck and left him there. And then I left while saying "OOPS, maybe I am Bi-Polar." Just then a little green lepricon hopped onto my shoulder saying "Burrrn the house. BURN IT DOWN." **(A/N who got the simpsons refernce. Cookies to those who can name what the episode that the little lepricon was on was about. Hint. RALFIE IS THE LEPRICONS FRIEND)**

That sounds fun. I told myself befor grabbing a match and listening to Taylor Swift. **(A/N c'mon, you know what song I'm talking about!)**

**L.L**

**I LOVED WRITING THAT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN one day it just popped into my head and I had to write it down. Let me know if you like it!**

**Rozie.  
P.s, Bi-polar edward isnt fun. HE IS HILARIOUS!**


	2. Chapter 2

Due to the NUMBER OF HITS (200) in one week!!

I am making Emo Jasper to Sequal Bipolar Edward!

let me know what you think!

I DO NOT OWN I WILL NEVVVVVEEERRR OWN

JPOV

As I sat and watched Scruffy Goes Home for the third time I couldn't hold it any longer. I just dry sobbed as Scruffy got dive bombed by a pidgon! HE WAS HIT!! NOOOOOOO. I couldn't hold it in anymore...I ran out of the room and grabbed my super secret supply of razors. I love razors more than a fat kid loves cake, Or a fat Emo kid likes razorblade cake...(**A/N think "MOMMY I CAN CUT MY INSIDE TOO!!":D)**

I sat down and took the razor, raised it wayyyyy above my head and dramaticly brought the blade down.

The second it made contact with my skin it was shattered in 5 pieces. I screamed. Just then I came out of the bathroom muttering something along the lines of "stupid human made devises" when I saw Bella.

I would have laughed but I was too emo. She had Dark circles made by black mascara under her eyes, on her eyes, and well making flame patterns underneath her neon pink and white hoody. She was wearing skinny jeans and had on black skater shoes with black laces. Her hair was bone straight and dyed black.

Pretty good for a noob. I had done her one up, I had worn almost the exact same thing except it was a neon yellow and black hoodie, not a pink and white one. My secret wepon on the fight for emo-ness-icity was my chains. I had 2 400 pound chains on my pants. Wow, they really stay up, them jeans. **(a/n not that half the fan girls neccicarily WANTED them too ;D teeheehee)**

"Emo?" I asked.

"You emo, me emo." she said. We emos **(A/N sorry for over using of the word)** have a code. Say as little when talking to your co-emos. Normal people can be talked to as much as wanted.

"you got any vampire teeth-esque razors lying around?" I asked her. My emo sisteren.

"WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS! JASPER PLEASE TELL ME THAT DOG MOVIE DID NOT JUST HAVE THE PIDGON SCENE AGAIN!" Edward yelled.

"JASSPPPPER! EDWARDs 18th THERAPIST WAS WORKING SOOO WELL!!" Alice screeched. "YOU MESSED UP HIS CALM TIME! AGAIN!"

"sorry, Didn't mean to. But the pidgion, the pidgion." I whispered.

"Thats It. Come with me." Emmett cackeled **(a/n funny word, isnt cackeld)**

I started to object but before I could think of anything other than me being dive bombed. I was sitting in a chair, with my eyes glued open. looking at the t.v screeen. There was a purple box with a dinosaur on it and an egg and a rainbow. It, IT WAS BARNY!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-three days and a non stop Barny marathon later-

"I love you...You love me...were a great big family." I sang to myself in the corner of my room. It was awefull. THE SINGING! NOOOOOO!!

Just then a giant purple dinosaur popped out of the closed and said "HI KIDS!"

I curled up in a ball and hummed twinkle twinkle little star to myself while rocking back and forth.

It was Bella. She had turned to the normal side.

I saing louder and clapped my hands over my ears. If I could of cried, I would of.

this was worse than death.

OoOoOoOoO

that was realllllly fun! It made ME laugh.

Enjoyyyyy!

Ro-clo!


End file.
